Wrecked
B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, A=Anya, T=Tara, D=DawnAm=Amy
T: God, I just closed my eyes for a minute.
D: And now there's cartoons. Plus a mother of all-night wedgies.
T: Uh-oh.
D: It's not tragic. I'm sure as soon as I stand up...
B: When did the building fall down?
S: I don't know. Must have been some time between the first time and the, uh...
B: And don't call me "luv."
S: You didn't seem to take issue with that last night. Or with any of the other little nasties we whispered.
B: Can we not talk?
B: Last night was the end of this freak show.
S: Don't say that!
B: What did you think was gonna happen? What, we were gonna read the newspaper together? Play footsie under the rubble?
S: I knew it. I knew the only thing better than killing a Slayer would be--
B: Is that what this is about? Doing a Slayer?
S: I'm just saying vampires get you hot.
B: *A* vampire got me hot. One. But he is gone. You're just... you're just convenient.
S: I'm done being your whipping boy.
B: Like you're god's gift.
S: Hardly. Wouldn't be nearly as interesting, would it?
B: You're bent.
S: Yeah, and it made you scream, didn't it?
D: What if they're all in a ditch somewhere? Ditches are bad. Mom always used to talk about the ditches.
W: Amy-- Amy the Rat? Sorry.
Am: No, that's fair. I was a rat.
Am: I'm talking too much. Sorry. It's just been, you know, me and a bag of pellets for the last few years, so...
X: All these demons are starting to look alike. You got reptiles, reptiles with horns, reptiles with gills, and I'm still finding nothing of the "steal a diamond, kill a guy" variety.
X: Great, we're not even married yet and already you've stopped listening to me.
X: Anya has a theory. She thinks that Martha Stewart froze that guy.
A: Don't be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn't a demon. She's a witch.
X: Please, she-- really?
A: Of course. Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness.
A: I can't decide whether to put my bridesmaids in cocktail dresses or the traditional burlap with blood larvae.
X: The traditional what?
A: Well I was a demon for a thousand years, Xander. You can't expect me to turn my back on all the ways of my people.
B: Can I weigh in on this whole me wearing larvae...?
X & A: No.
A: At least I'm not asking you to perform the groom's rite of self-flagellation.
A: And' *I'm* bizarre? At least I didn't dump you to hang out with an ex-rat.
B: So, you know, who are we to be all judgey?
X: Not judgey, Buff. Just observey.
Am: You'll never believe...
Rack: You were a rat.
Am: How did you know?
Rack: I hope that taught you not to mess with spells you can't handle. You should leave that in the hands of a professional.
Rack: This one's giving off vibes.
W: I don't mean to vibe at you, if it's in a negative way.
W: Or you could do it the hard way.
D: Spatulas are for wimps.
D: I think she's feeling all Joan Crawford 'cause of the other night.
D: Right. Assume would make "U" an "ass" out of "me". Or, um, something.
D: I'll leave a note for Buffy on the refrigerator. That's the first place she goes after patrolling. She's such a pig after she kills things.
B: What is this?
Am: It's not what you think it is - it's sage.
B: That *is* what I think it is.
Am: I like your coat. When does the Slayer find time to shop?
B: Understands what? Breaking into someone's house for kitchen spices?
A: Oh, don't shake me again super strength. I think I'm gonna boot.
W: So, the burger was good, you liked it?
D: Are you kidding? It was like a meat party in my mouth. Okay, now, I'm just a kid, and even *I* know that came out wrong.
S: I'm a bit knackered. Had a long night. Someone should teach you how to use candles in foreplay, luv.
B: Get dressed. Dawn's missing.
S: Again? Ever think about a lo-jack for the girl?
S: Oh, that's right - hide your blushing eyes.
B: Spike, if you're dragging this out...
S: What, so I can linger near your precious self? Get a grip.
B: The only thing that's different is that I'm disgusted with myself. That's the power of your charms. Last night was the most perverse, degrading experience of my life.
S: Yeah. Me, too.
S: You're gonna crave me like I crave blood, and the next time you come calling, if you don't stop being such a bitch, maybe I will bite you.
W: Oh, no, it's okay. He's not real.
D: Seems real. Very real.
B: Now you're scared? Better late than never.
W: If you could be plain old Willow or Super Willow, who would you be? I guess you don't actually have an option on the whole super thing.
B: You are more than some girl. And Tara wants you to stop. She loves you.
W: We don't know that.
B: I know that. I promise you.
W: Magic wasn't all great. I won't miss the nosebleeds and the headaches and stuff.
B: There you go.
W: Or keeping stinky yak cheese in my bra. Don't ask.