Wild at Heart
B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, O=Oz, J=JoyceS=Spike, V=Veruca
B: You were thinking, what, a little helpless co-ed before bed? You know very well, you eat this late... you're gonna get heartburn. < stakes vamp > Get it? Heartburn? < vamp turns to dust > That's it? That's all I get? One lame-ass vamp with no appreciation for my painstakingly thought-out puns? I don't think the forces of darkness are even trying. I mean, you could make a little effort here, you know? Give me something to work with.
S: Watch your mouth, little girl. You should know better than to tempt the fates that way. 'Cause the big bad is back, and this time, it's-- < zap! >
W: The Bronze is more fun this year, isn't it?
B: 'Cause of the gloating factor alone, you know? We're all about college, now. We've got heady discourse.
O: Yeah, curfew-free nights of mom and pop-less hootenanny.
X: Co-ed dating prospects who find townies sexy and dangerous. What? I can dream.
B: Right. So if college is so great, what are we doing here and why is it more fun?
W: Because the Bronze is nice and familiar. It's like a big comfy blankie.
O: Will, I was under the impression that I was your big comfy blankie.
W: Aw, you're my person blankie. This is my place blankie.
G: Splendid. Well, it's ages since I've been to a gig. Well, don't look that way. I'm... I'm... I'm down with the new music. And I have the albums to prove it.
B: Yes, but it's your cutting-edge 8-tracks that keep you ahead of the scene.
O: Don't scoff, gang. I've seen Giles' collection. He was an animal in his day.
G: Thank you.
B: Hey, why not? If the Stones can still keep rolling, why can't Giles?
W: I think that it's brave that you're here.
G: Well, thank you, all. You've made me feel right at home.
X: Isn't home that empty place you're trying to escape?
W: They're good, aren't they?
O: Nothing special.
B: Yeah, she's quell Fiona. Color me bored.
W: It's in the sandblaster.
O: What's in the sandblaster, Will? It's a dream, come back to me.
W: All geminis to the raspberry hats.
O: Now you're faking.
W: Am not. Just a little.
O: Bad dream?
W: I guess. But the waking up part makes up for it.
O: It's always so busy in there.
W: Not always. A few things shut my brain up completely.
O: Anything I can help you with?
O: I don't know about tonight, unless the extreme Jerry Garcia look turns you on.
W: Huh?
W: There's this Wicca group on campus I wanted to check out. They have orientation on the three nights you're wolfy. And it's probably totally silly, but...
O: No, go. Show 'em how it's done.
W: You okay? How'd you do? This is good. I mean, this is excellent! You did better than me. This is so unfair! You made me jealous of you adademically. Buffy!
B: And she wants me to lead a discussion group next class. That means more work, right? Shouldn't she have a better reward system? You know, like a cookie, or a toy surprise like at the dentist?
W: She wants you to lead a discussion group? Okay, jealous again. Jealous, jealous... okay, I'm back.
O: Big lunch?
V: I like to eat. I hate chicks who are like, "Does it have dressing on it?"
O: Agreed.
B: Check out the rapid exits. Was it me?
W: Me. I don't speak musician-ese.
W: How come you didn't tell me I look like a crazy birthday cake in this shirt?
B: I thought that was the point.
W: He thinks she's sexy. He gets this blushy thing going on behind his ears. That's for me only.
W: I mean, I have wrong feelings about other guys sometimes, but I feel guilty, and I flog and punish.
B: Exactly. I'm sure Oz is flogging and punishing himself... This is sounding wrong before I even finish.
V: That was, um, some night.
O: So it appears.
O: So you're a...
V: Werewolf groupie. Nobody else gets it done for me.
V: Now you... need to relax.
O: Not a possibility.
V: God, the kids in this dorm need Fashion 101 in a big way. Or we could start right here at home.
O: Not making a statement.
V: You have a cage?
O: Don't you?
V: Oh, yeah. It has a little wheel with a plastic ball and a cute little bell in it. God! Somebody's domesticated the hell out of you.
V: Or maybe you just don't want to admit what happened to you. Maybe you just wanna pretend like you're a regular guy.
O: Well, I am. I'm only a wolf three nights a month.
V: Or you're the wolf all the time. And this human face is just your disguise.
O: New look.
W: You, too.
O: Oh. Laundry day kinda came and went.
W: Guess it was just me worrying for nothing again. Me and my busy mind, always thinking, thinking, thinking.
O: Well, now you can stop. Everything's fine.
W: Maybe you could help me... stop. I'd really, really appreciate anything you could do.
TV announcer: Treaty signed in 1648 that ended the 30-Years War.
G: The Peace of Westphalia.
Contestant: Uh, Yalta?
G: Oh, you moron.
TV Announcer: I'm sorry, that's incorrect.
G: That dinette set should be mine.
G: Can I get you anything? Tea? I made a very interesting mousaka last night, if you're hungry.
B: Pass on the tea. And the moose, thank you.
G: You come on business, I hope?
B: Yes. Lucky for you, people may be in danger.
X: Hey, Will. Mom let you in?
W: She seemed cranky.
X: Yeah, we're having a little landlord/tenant dispute, so I'm withholding rent. An effective, and I might add, thrifty tactic.
X: So, I know why I'm sitting in a dank, sunless little room. But why are you?
W: Well, things with Oz are weird, and I talked to Buffy about it, but I think we're in Guyville here. I need a translator from the "Y" side of things.
X: Well, last time I checked, I had the creds. Hit me.
W: What does it mean when a girl wants to... you know.
X: If you're doing it, I think you should be able to say it.
W: Make love.
X: Wild monkey love, or tender Sarah McLaughlin love?
W: Any kind. But what if the girl wants to and the guy doesn't? That's a bad sign, right?
X: Could be. Or the girl caught the guy in one of the 7 annual minutes he's legitimately too preoccupied to do it.
W: Well, say the girl's been noticing...
X: Will, I've deciphered your ingenious code.
B: Oz, you okay? If it's possible, you seem more monosyllabic than usual.
V: So this is why you called me here? To see your habit-trail?
V: So you're saying I should spend the whole night with you... alone. Locked in a cage.
O: You'll be safe.
V: Not from you.
O: She's like me. A wolf.
W: Well, I knew you two had a lot in common, but...
B: Do you want me to get you something before I take off? Kleenex? Chocolatey... chocolate anything?
O: Look, Buffy, you should know that--
B: Oz, now might be a good time for your trademark stoicism.
V: Can't say I'm surprised you didn't go through with your little hex. You don't have the teeth.
W: You don't know what I have. You don't know anything about me.
V: I know what you love. I have his scent on me right now.
B: Giles, I've never seen her like this. It's like it hurts too much to form words.
G: You've felt that way yourself and you got through it.
B: Yeah. I ran away and went to hell and then got through it. I'm kind of hoping she doesn't use me as a model.
G: Fair enough.
O: Veruca was right about something. The wolf is inside me all the time, and I don't know where that line is anymore between me and it. And until I figure out what that means, I shouldn't be around you... or anybody.
W: Well, that could be a problem, 'cause people... kind of a planetary epidemic.
W: Oz, don't you love me?
O: My whole life, I've never loved anything else.