Surprise

B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, A=Angel, C=Cordelia, O=Oz
JC=Jenny Calendar, J=Joyce, PS=Principal Snyder, S=Spike, D=Druscilla

DA=Dalton the Vampire

A: Still, not every dream you have comes true. I mean, what else did you dream last night? Can you remember?
B: I dreamt... that Giles and I opened an office supply warehouse in Vegas.
A: See my point?

A: What if what?
B: I'm sorry. Were we talking?

B: God, you feel...
A: You have to go to school.
B: Right. I know. This is me... I'm going...

B: This is nice. I like seeing you first thing in the morning.
A: It's bedtime for me.
B: Well, then, I like seeing you at bedtime. Uh, eh... You know what I mean.
A: I think so. What do you mean?
B: I like seeing you.

W: "I like you at bedtime"? You actually said that?

W: Carpe diem. You told me that once.
B: "Fish of the day"?
W: Not carp, carpe. It means "seize the day."
B: Right. I think we're going to. Seize it. Once you get to a certain point, then seizing is sort of inevitable.
W: Wow.
B: Yeah.
W: Wow...
B: Oh!
W: Wow...

B: Hey, speaking of "wow" potential, there's Oz over there. What are we thinking, any sparkage?
W: He's nice. Hey, I like his hands.
B: A fixation on insignificant detail is a definite crush sign.

W: I don't know, though. He's a senior.
B: You think he's too old 'cause he's a senior? _Please_, my boyfriend had a bicentennial.

B: You can't spend the rest of your life waiting for Xander to wake up and smell the hottie.

O: See, our band's kind of moving towards this new sound where we suck, so... practice.

W: I bet you have a lot of groupies.
O: It happens. Now, I'm living groupie-free nowadays. I'm clean.

O: I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night... and I'm kind of nervous about it, actually. It's interesting.
W: Oh, well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes.
O: Yeah, it helps. It creates a comfort zone. Do you want to go out with me tomorrow night?
W: Oh, I can't!
O: Well, see, I like that you're unpredictable.

W: Well, you could be... my date.
O: All right. I'm in.
W: I said "date."

X: This thing with us, despite our better judgment, it keeps happening. Maybe we should just admit that we're dating.
C: Groping in a broom closet isn't dating. You don't call it a date until the guy spends money.
X: Fine, I'll spend, then we'll grope, whatever.

C: I, on the other hand, have everything to be ashamed of.
X: You know what? Enough said. Forget it. It must have been my multiple personality guy talking. I call him Idiot Jed, glutton for punishment.

G: Everything in order for the party?
X: Absolutely. You ready to get down, you funky party weasel?
G: Here comes Buffy. Now remember: discretion is the better part of valor.
X: You could have just said, "shhh!" God, are all you Brits such drama queens?

X: Buffy, I feel a pre-birthday spanking coming on.
MC: I'd curb that impulse if I were you, Xander.
X: Check, cancel spanking.

G: If Drusilla is alive, it could be a very... cataclysmic state of affairs.
X: Again, so many words! Couldn't you just say, "we'd be in trouble"?
G: Go to class, Xander.
X: Gone. Notice the economy of phrasing: "Gone." Simple. Direct.

B: I know. I should keep my Slayer-cool. But it's Angel, which automatically equals maxi-wig.

D: These flowers... are wrong. They're all... wrong! I can't abide them!
S: Let's try something different with the flowers then.

J: So, does 17 feel any different than 16?
B: It's funny you should ask that. You know, I woke up feeling more responsible, mature, and level-headed.
J: Really? It's uncanny.
B: I now possess the qualities one looks for in a ... licensed driver.

G: Dreams aren't prophecies, Buffy. You dreamt that the Master had risen, but you stopped it from happening.
X: You ground his bones to make your bread.
B: That's true. Except for the bread part.

X: Well, that's not a perky birthday puppy.
W: So much for our surprise party. I bought little hats and everything.

MC: He wants to meet you some place near his house, 'cause he had to run home and get a book or something.
B: 'Cause heaven knows there aren't enough books in the library.
MC: Uh, he's very thorough.
B: Oh, which is not too bad. It's kind of manly in an obsessive- compulsive kind of way, don't you think?

B: Sorry, sacred duty, yada yada yada.

B: Every time I see you, you're stealing something. You really should speak with someone about this klepto issue.

C: Surprise!
O: That pretty much sums it up.

W: Are you okay?
O: Yeah. Hey, did everybody see that guy just turn to dust?
W: Oh, well, sorta...
X: Yup, vampires are real, a lot of them live in Sunnydale, Willow will fill you in.
W: I know it's hard to accept at first.
O: Actually, it explains a _lot_.

X: Well, clearly, the Hellmouth's answer to, "What do you get the Slayer who has everything?"

B: Man, that thing had major grip.
W: What was that?
O: It looked like an arm.
A: It can't be. She wouldn't.
X: What, the vamp's version of "snakes in a can", or do you care to share?

A: They call him the Judge.
G: The Judge? This is he?
A: Not all of him.
B: Um, still needing backstory here?

A: I gotta catch a cargo ship to Asia, maybe trek to Nepal...
B: You know, those newfangled flying machines really are much safer than they used to be.

D: You... lost my present.
DA: I know. I'm sorry.
S: It was a bad turn, man. She can't have her fun without the box.

D: Make a wish.
DA: What?
D: I'm going to blow out the candles.

X: But let's look at the upside for a moment. I mean, what kind of future would she have really had with him? She's got two jobs: Denny's waitress by day, Slayer by night, and Angel's always in front of the TV with a big blood belly and he's dreaming of the glory days, when Buffy still thought this whole creature of the night routine was a big turn on.
W: You've thought way too much about this.
X: No, no, that's just the beginning. Have I told you the part where I fly into town on my private jet, and take Buffy out for prime rib...
W: Xander...
X: ...and she cries?

G: His touch can literally burn the humanity out of you. A true creature of evil can survive the process. No human ever has.
X: What's the problem? We send Cordy to fight this guy, and we go for pizza.

G: Round robin?
W: It's when everybody calls everybody else's mom, and tells them they're staying at everyone's house.
B: Thus freeing us up for world saveage.
W: And all-night keggers! What, only Xander gets to make dumb jokes?

W: I can't get over how cool Oz was about all this.
X: Gee, I'm over it.

G: Seems Buffy needed some rest.
A: Yeah, she hasn't been sleeping well, tossing and turning. < pause, while everyone looks at Angel > She told me! Because of her dreams?

S: Well, well, look what we have here... crashers.
B: I'm sure our invitations just got lost in the mail.
D: It's delicious. I only dreamed you'd come. Rrrr!
A: Leave her alone!
S: Yeah, that'll work. Now say "pretty please."

A: Take me. Take me instead of her.
S: Uh, you're not clear on the concept, pal. There is no "instead." Just first and second.

A: I love you. I try not to, but I can't stop.

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