Prophecy Girl
B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, A=Angel, M=MasterC=Cordelia, JC=Jenny Calendar
X: Would you, um, date me? Oh, that's good. "Date me." It's terrible, right?
W: Huh? Oh, no. Well, yes, "date me" is silly.
X: You know, Buffy, Spring Fling just isn't any dance. It's a time for students to choose, um, a mate. And then we can observe their mating rituals, and tag them before they migrate... just kill me!
X: I wanna do it now. I gotta do it now.
W: Well, Buffy's not here. You can practice on me some more.
X: What's she doing?
W: You know, the usual.
B: *thud!*
B: Three in one night. Giles would be so proud.
M: Yes, yes! Shake, earth! This is a sign. We are in the final days. My time is come! Glory, glory! .... What do you think? 5.1?
B: How you doing there, Giles? Get much sleep last night?
G: I've been working.
B: Me, too. I went hunting last night, and it is awfully sweet of you to ask.
B: Giles, care. I'm putting my life on the line battling the undead. Look, I broke a nail, okay? I'm wearing a press-on. The least you could do is exhibit some casual interest. You could go, "hmm."
G: Hmm?
B: I can't put it off any longer. I have to meet my terrible fate.
G: What?
B: Biology.
B: Wow, that was boring.
X: I don't feel that "boring" covers it.
B: No, "boring" falls short.
W: Even I was bored, and I'm a science nerd.
B: Don't say that.
W: I'm not ashamed. It's the computer age. Nerds are in. They're still in, right?
X: Buffy, I want you to go to the dance with me. You and me. On a date.
B: I don't know what to say.
X: Well, you're not laughing. That's a good start.
X: We've fought some bloodsucking fiends, and that's all been a good time. But I want more.
X: I guess a guy's gotta be undead to make time with you.
X: I don't handle rejection well. Funny, considering all the practice I've had, huh?
JC: You know, that outfit looks just like the one you wore yesterday, only wrinklier.
JC: A cat, last week, gave birth to a litter of snakes. A family was swimming in Whisper Lake when the lake suddenly began to boil. And Mercy Hospital last night - a boy was born with his eyes facing inward. I'm not stupid. This is apocalypse stuff. Throw in last night's earthquake, and I'd say we've got a problem. I'd say the end is pretty seriously nigh.
C: You're so sweet. Why are you so sweet?
Kevin: I don't know, 'cause I'm usually mean as a snake.
C: Willow, I really like your outfit.
W: No, you don't.
C: No, I really don't, but I need a favor.
W: How'd it go?
X: On a scale of 1 to 10? It sucked!
W: Oh.
X: Well, I guess it could be worse. I could have gangrene on my face.
X: She's still jonesing for Angel.
X: The deal's done. The polls are in, and it's time for my concession speech.
W: You think I wanna go to the dance with you, and watch you wish you were at the dance with her? You think that's my idea of hijinks?
X: That's okay. I don't wanna go. I'm just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain.
B: You and me - a mother/daughter thing. We could talk about all the embarrassing things you love to bring up.
B: Then what happened?
J: I met your father.
B: He didn't have a date either?
J: He did. And that's a much funnier story that you will not get to hear.
C: You don't understand. I'm not mad. He totally flaked on me. On me! And I don't even care. God help me, I think it's cute. Ohhh! There they are. They're watching cartoons. That's so cu-- That's not cute. That's annoying. I'm annoyed.
W: Right. I'm furious.
C: Well, obviously, Kevin has underestimated the power of my icy stare.
JC: Okay, so this Master guy tried to open the Hellmouth, but he got stuck in it. And now all the signs are reading that he's going to get out, which opens the Hellmouth, which brings the demons, which ends the world.
G: Yes. That about sums it up, yes.
JC: The part that gets me, though, is where Buffy is the Vampire Slayer. She's so little.
JC: It's kind of warm and fuzzy for a message of doom.
G: I've made up my mind.
B: So have I.
G: I made up mine first!
G: I defy prophecy, and I'm going. There's nothing you can say that will change my mind.
B: I know. *whack!* *thud!*
G: We stay calm, first thing.
X: Calm?!
W: I think he's right.
X: I'm sorry. Calm may work for Locutus of the Borg here, but I'm freaked out and I intend to stay that way.
X: How could you let her go?
G: As the soon-to-be purple area on my jaw will attest, I did not 'let' her go!
JC: I'm sorry to bring this up, but we also have an apocalypse to worry about.
X: Do you mind?
W: How come she's in the club?
X: How can I say this clearly? I don't like you. At the end of the day, I pretty much think you're a vampire.
M: Welcome.
B: Thanks for having me. You know, you really ought to talk to your contractor. Looks like you've got some water damage.
M: Oh, good. The feeble banter portion of the fight.
X: You were looking at my neck.
A: What?
X: You were checking out my neck, I saw that.
A: No, I wasn't.
X: Just keep your distance, pal.
A: I wasn't looking at your neck.
X: I told you to eat before we left.
M: You are not the hunter, you are the lamb.
B: You know, for someone who's all-powerful, you sure do like to hide.
M: Oh, by the way, I like your dress.
JC: Why are they coming here?
W: Not caring!
W: We've got to get to the library.
C: The library - great.
W: Of course, we generally walk there. *screech - crash!*
B: Oh, look, a bad guy. *whap* *thud*
C: See how you like it!
M: Come forth, my child. Come into my world.
B: I don't think it's yours just yet.
M: You're dead.
B: I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.
M: You were destined to die. It was written.
B: What can I say? I flunked the written.
M: Did you really think you could best me here when you couldn't below?
B: You have fruit punch mouth.
M: What?
B: *thwack!*
M: Where are your jibes now? Will you laugh when my hell is on earth?
B: You're that amped about hell? Go there!
G: Buffy?
B: Oh, sorry. It's just... been a really weird day.
X: Yeah, Buffy died and everything.
W: Wow. Harsh.
G: I should have known that wouldn't stop you.
JC: Well, what do we do now?
G: I don't know about the rest of you, but I'd like to get out of this place. I don't like the library very much any more.
X: Hey, I hear there's a dance at the Bronze tonight. Could be fun.
C: Yeah!
W: Buffy?
B: Sure. We saved the world, I say we party. I mean, I got all pretty.
JC: What about him?
B: He's not going anywhere. Loser!
A: By the way, I really like your dress.
B: Yeah, yeah, big hit with everyone.