Once more, With Feeling
B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, S=Spike, A=Anya, T=Tara, D=DawnSW=Sweet
X: Respect the cruller, and tame the doughnut!
A: That's still funny, sweetie.
B: So did anybody... last night, you know, did anybody, um... burst into song?
X: Merciful Zeus!
W: We thought it was just us!
[all speaking at once]
G: Well, I sang, but I had my guitar at the hotel. That would explain the huge backing orchestra I couldn't see, and the synchronized dancing from the room-service chaps.
W: It was bizarre.
T: We were talking, and then it was like...
B: Like you were in a musical?
W: We did a whole duet about dueling mushrooms...
A: ...and we were arguing and then everything rhymed and there were harmonies, and a dance with coconuts.
W: ...with the couscous.
X: It was very disturbing.
B: But it seemed perfectly normal.
X: But disturbing, and not the natural order of things and do you think it'll happen again?
X: See, okay, that was disturbing.
W: I thought it was neat.
B: Well, I'm not exactly quaking in my stylish, yet affordable boots, but there's definitely something unnatural going on here. And that doesn't usually lead to hugs and puppies.
D: Oh, my god. You will never believe what happened at school today.
B: Everybody started singing and dancing?
D: I gave birth to a pterodactyl.
A: Oh my god, did it sing?
X: So what'd you sing about?
D: Math.
T: That's right! The volume. The text.
G: What text?
W: The volume-y text.
G: Well, I'm a hair's-breadth from investigating bunnies at the moment, so I'm open to anything.
W: The sun is shining, there are songs going on, those guys are checking you out...
T: What? What are they looking at?
W: The hotness of you, doofus!
T: Those boys really thought I was hot?
W: Entirely!
T: Oh, my god. I'm cured! I want the boys!
W: Do I have to fight to keep you? 'Cause I'm not large with the butch.
X: You see the way they were with each other? The get-a-roominess to them? I bet they're... [notices Dawn] singing. They're probably singing right now.
D: Besides, it's all kind of romantic.
B/X in unison: No, it's not.
SW: That's entertainment.
A: You don't have to go to work?
X: No, I shut the crew down for the day. My guys started dancing around me. I don't know if I can deal. It's a flab thing. So, waffles?
A: Will you still make me waffles when we're married?
X: No, I'll only make them for myself, but by California law, you will own half of them.
X: It's a nightmare. It's a plague. It's like a nightmare about a plague.
[overlapping dialogue]
X: It was just, like, I didn't want to be saying things, but they just kept pouring out. And they rhymed, and they were mean. And my eyes aren't beady!
A: It has to be stopped. It's like we're being watched. Like there was a wall missing in our apartment. Like there were only three walls and not a fourth wall... and my toes aren't hairy!
A: Clearly our number is a retro-pastiche that's never going to be a break-away pop hit.
X: Work with me, British-man. Give me an axe and show me where to point it.
X: Somebody set people on fire? That's nuts.
A: I don't know. One more verse of our little ditty, and I would have been looking for a gas can.
G: I was able to examine the body while police were taking witness arias.
X: Okay, but we're sure that the things are related -- the singing and dancing and burning and dying?
S: The sun sets, and she appears. Come to serenade me?
S: Well, I've seen some damn funny things the last two days. 600-pound Chirago demon making like Yma Sumac - that one'll stay with you.
S: Drink?
B: A world of no.
S: You've just come to pump me for information.
B: What else would I want to pump you for? I really just said that, didn't I?
S: So... you're not staying, then?
T: Lot of homework?
D: Ah, math. It seemed cooler when we were singing about it.
T: Willow said they have a lead on the whole musical-extravaganza evil. This demon that can be summoned - some sort of lord of the dance. But not the scary one - just a demon.
D: It gives me belly rumblings when you guys fight.
D: Yes, the 15-year-old can spend half-an-hour alone in her locked house.
B: I feel like I should bow, or have honor or something.
B: I'm just worried this whole session's going to turn into some training montage from an 80's movie.
G: Well, if we hear any inspirational power chords, we'll just lie down until they go away.
B: Yeah, I'm pretty spry for a corpse.
S: Strong. Someday, he'll be a real boy.
B: So, Dawn's in trouble. Must be Tuesday.
A: Dawn may have had the wrong idea in summoning this creature, but I've seen some of these Underworld child-bride deals, and they never end well. Maybe once.
G: If I want your opinion, Spike, I'll... I'll never want your opinion.
S: Forget them, Slayer. I got your back.
B: Thought you wanted me to stay away from you. Isn't that what you sang?
X: Spike sing a wittle song?
A: Would you say it was a break-away pop hit or more of a book number?
X: Let it go, sweetie.
S: Fine. I hope you dance till you burn. You and the little bit.
B: What do you expect me to do?
G: Your best.
SW: I love a good entrance.
B: How are you with death scenes?
B: You got a name?
SW: I've got a hundred.
B: Well, I ought to know what to call you if you're gonna be my brother-in-law.
SW: What if I kill you?
B: Trust me, won't help.
SW: Oh, that's gloomy.
B: That's life.
D: The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.
SW: Now, that was a show-stopping number. Not quite the fireworks that I was looking for...
G: If it was in the shop, then one of us probably...
[Xander raised his hand]
A: Xander!
X: Well, I didn't know what was gonna happen! I just thought there was gonna be dances and songs.
SW: I think everything worked out just fine.
X: Does this mean that I have to... be your Queen?
SW: It's tempting. But I think we'll waive that clause just this once.
SW: Big smiles, everyone. You beat the bad guy.
S: You should go back inside. Finish the big group sing, get your kumba-yayas out.
B: I don't want to.
S: The day you suss out what you do want, there'll probably be a parade. Seventy-six bloody trombones.