Lessons
B=Buffy, X=Xander, W=Willow, A=Anya, D=Dawn, S=SpikeG=Giles, P=Principal Robin Wood, H=Halfrek, C=Carlos
B: It's about power -- who's got it, who knows how to use it. So... who's got the power, Dawn?
D: Well, I've got the stake.
B: The stake is not the power.
D: But, he's new. He doesn't know his strength. He might not know all those fancy martial arts skills they inevitably seem to pick up.
B: You're a little girl.
D: Woman.
B: Little woman.
D: I'm taller than you!
B: He's a vampire, okay? Demon, preternaturally strong, skilled with powers no human could possibly ever--
Vamp: Excuse me. I think I'm stuck.
B: You're stuck?
Vamp: My foot's caught on a root or something. I don't even know how I got down there. If you girls could give me a hand...
D: So, he's got the power.
D: Plus, I had a plan the whole time.
B: Really?
D: Yeah. I planned to get killed, come back as a vamp and bite you.
B: Vampires, demons... they're nothing compared to what's coming.
D: I know. I just can't believe it's back.
B: Believe me, I thought I was long past it. I guess you never are. Just a few more days 'til it starts, and then we'll never know what's coming next.
P: It is my great pleasure and privilege to announce the official opening, on the very ground that it first stood upon, of the brand-new, state-of-the-art, Sunnydale High!
W: Is there anything you don't know everything about?
G: Synchronized swimming. Complete mystery to me.
W: The coven is-- They're the most amazing women I've ever met. But there's this... this look that they get. Like I'm gonna turn them all into bangers and mash, or something. Which I'm not even really sure what that is.
W: When you brought me here, I thought it was to kill me. Or to lock me in some mystical dungeon for all eternity here. With the torture. Instead, you go all Dumbledore on me.
G: Do you want to be punished?
W: I want to be Willow.
X: How exactly do you MAKE cereal?
B: Ah -- you put the box near the milk. I saw it on the food channel.
X: How are you?
B: My sister's about to go to the same high school that tried to kill me for three years, I can't change districts, I can't afford private school, and I can't begin to prepare her for what could possibly come out of there. So, peachy with a side of keen, that would be me.
D: Check out the Double-O-Xander.
X: I've got two crews working on this diabolical, yet lucrative, new campus.
B: Do you have everything? Books? Lunch? Stakes?
B: Stay away from hyena-people, or any loser-type athletes, or if you see anyone that's invisible...
B: You know, you could still drop out. Only nerds finish high school.
D: You know, I don't really think it's fair for you to try and scare me on my first day of high school. 'Cause it is so redundant.
B: This place is evil.
P: Tough to let 'em go, huh?
B: So you're the new principal. I expected you to be more.. aged.
B: It's my hair. I have Mom-hair.
B: That was suspicious.
D: You betcha. Bye.
D: I know! You never know what's coming, the stake is not the power, To Serve Man is a cookbook. I love you. Go away!
D: I love to dance, I like music, I'm very into Brittany Spears' early work, before she sold out, so mostly her fingerpainting and macaroni art -- very underrated. Favorite activities include not ever having to do this again...
A: God, they're depressing.
H: Oh, who are they kidding with that happy shiny crap?
A: Six weeks, tops, and she's calling on me for vengeance.
A: I am so back in the vengeance fold!
H: No deaths, no eviscerations, you're not goading women into anything inventive, and you're no delivering when it is.
A: I don't even know...
H: Waitress downtown wished her husband was a frog... you made him French!
A: Well, he's smelly, and with a little mustache.
B: Let's just start with dead and pissed.
X: No damage, though?
B: I think I may have destroyed Dawn's social life in all of about 30 seconds, but apart from that, no.
X: Ah, being popular isn't so great. Or so I've read in books.
W: I saw the earth, Giles. I saw its teeth.
P: The school board recommended that I spend a little time reading your record. It's, um, quite a page turner. Kind of a checkered
past.
B: More like plaid. Kind of a clan tartan of badness, really.
C: I ran away like a girl.
B: Come on, what are you after? Fear? Revenge? Tasty brains?
Dead guy: I think I'd like Dawn to be my girlfriend.
B: Again, wrong sister. I'm the one that dates dead guys. And, no offense, but they were hotties.
B: If at first you don't succeed... cheat.
S: Buffy... duck.
B: Duck? There's a duck? [gets hit on head]
S: No visitors today. Terribly busy.
D: Well, what do they want?
B: So far, to piss me off.
D: Please, tell me it's working.
B: Oh, I'm damage-bound.
B: You know what they are?
S: Manifest spirits controlled by a talisman, raised to seek vengeance. A four-year-old could figure it.
B: Guys? Resentful dead guys?
X: Contracty goodness!
Dead guy: You can thank your sister for this.
[Buffy kicks him across room]
D: Thanks, sis.
C: You are the best mom ever.
D: O... kay. Come on, we still have a few more classes to live through.
P: I was looking for one or both of them to implode in a fearsome way right before midterms. But now I see that you got 'em socializing and hugging, and, actually, if I'm not mistaken, headed to class...
P: But I got to tell you, Miss Summers, I think you belong here.
B: Hmm, nu??
P: We do have a community outreach program, and the money we could pay you wouldn't even fold...
B: I'm in.
P: What, you serious? You DID hear the part about the money, right?
P: Look at that. It's not even noon, and I've already bullied my first family member into helping out. I'm gonna be the best principal ever.
Evil thingy: She's a girl. Sugar and spice and everything... useless unless you're baking.
Evil thingy: Oh, my name will be on everyone's lips, assuming their lips haven't been torn off.
Evil thingy: And that's where we're going... right back to the beginning. Not the bang... not the word. The true beginning. The next few months are going to be quite a ride. And I think we're all going to learn something about ourselves in the process. You'll learn you're a pathetic schmuck, if it hasn't sunk in
already.