I Only Have Eyes For You
B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, As=Angelus, C=CordeliaJC=Jenny Calendar, J=Joyce, PS=Principal Snyder, S=Spike, D=Druscilla, O=Oz
PC = Police Chief
PC = Police Chief
Ben: We had Algebra II together last year.
B: Sorry. I pretty much repress anything math related.
B: Oh. Yeah. I remember now. It's the one with the desks and the chalkboards and pencils and stuff, right?
Ben: Yeah.
B: Like a steel trap.
B: I'm not seeing anybody. Ever... again actually.
W: You've been doing that a lot, patrolling and sacking. In fact, you've kind of been all work and no play Buffy.
B: I play. I have big fun. I came here tonight, didn't I?
W: You came. You saw. You rejected.
B: I'm just not in date mode right now.
W: Well, maybe you need to date to get in date mode.
W: You're thinking too much. Maybe you need to be impulsive.
B: Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend? The vampire? I slept with him, he lost his soul, and now my boyfriend's gone forever and the demon that wears his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision I make will be my choice of dentures.
W: Okay. The Angel thing went badly. I'm on board with that.
PS: That's right. I want to thank you. What would Sunnydale High do without you around to incite mayhem, chaos, and disorder?
PS: People can be coerced, Summers. I'm no stranger to conspiracy. I saw 'JFK'.
PS: Pathetic little lowlife vegan.
PS: You stink of lies
W: I bet you'll think coding is pretty cool. I mean, if you find two-digit multi-stacked conversions and primary number clusters a big hoot.
W: Giles! I made them laugh. Did you hear? I did ... the joke thing.
X: "Something weird is going on." Isn't that our school motto?
X: I don't want to poo-poo your wiggins, but domestic dispute, a little case of chalkboard Tourette's all sounds like Hellmouth life to me. *slam*
W: Xander? What happened? Did Cordelia win another round in the broom closet?
X: You're just a big bucket of funny, Will.
X: I'll have you know I was just accosted by some kind of, um, locker monster.
G: Loch Ness Monster?
G: Ooo! Sounds like paranormal phenomenon.
W: A ghost? Cool!
X: This was no wimpy chain rattler. This was "I'm dead as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore."
G: Well, despite the Xander-speak, that's a fairly accurate description of a poltergeist.
X: I defined something? Accurately? Guess I'm done with the book learnin'.
B: So we have some bad boo on our hands?
G: It lashes out, growing ever more confused, ever more angry.
B: So it's a normal teenager ... only dead.
B: Fabulous. Now we're Dr. Laura for the deceased.
S: It's paradise. Big windows, lovely gardens. It'll be perfect when we want the sunlight to kill us.
As: You don't like it Spike, hit the stairs and go. Take a stand, man.
As: Things change, Spikey. You gotta roll with the punches. Well, actually, you've pretty much got that part down.
S: Yeah. You're a giver.
G: I think it's very clear what's happening.
X: Fill me in then. 'Cuz I've read the book, seen the movie, and I'm still fuzzy about what's going on.
G: I appreciate your thoughts on the matter. In fact I encourage you to always challenge me when you feel it's appropriate. You should never be cowed by authority. Except, of course, in this instance when I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong.
W: This is freaky. I don't remember ever seeing Giles be this way.
X: I know. He's usually Investigate Things from Every Boring Angle Guy. Now he's, like, Cling to My One Lame Idea Guy.
B: What do we know?
X: Dog spit is cleaner than human.
B: Besides that.
X: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a ghost.
X: Your dreams are getting wicked accurate, Buff. You wouldn't happen to see me coming across some big cash or possibly knowing the love of a woman... in a full body sense?
B: He should be doing 60 years in prison, breaking rocks and making special friends with Rosco the weight lifter.
X: Yikes. The quality of mercy is not Buffy.
X: Okay. Who's hungry?
C: Do you realize that the girls have to ask the guys and *pay* and everything? I mean, whose genius idea was that?
X: Obviously some hairy legged feminist.
C: Really. Well, we need to nip this thing in the bud. Otherwise things could get really scary. *Scream*
PC: School boy pranks?
PS: Never sell.
PC: The sewer got backed up?
PS: Better. I could probably make that one fly.
W: The only solution is the final solution.
X: Nuke the school? I like that.
W: Not quite. Exorcism.
C: Are you crazy? I saw that movie. Even the priest died.
W: That's the hot spot. Where all the bad mojo is coming from.
B: Any questions?
C: Yeah. What if this mangled triangle thingy doesn't work?
W: Oh. I almost forgot. I made us all scapulars.
X: Okay, so we can flip the ghost when it turns a nice golden brown?
W: Scapular, not spatula.
C: You expect me to wear that thing? It smells like grandpa breath.
D: I'll sleep naked. Like the animals.
As: You know, I'm suddenly liking this plan.
As: Incoming! I love when she does this.
D: The Slayer. It's time Angel. She's ready for you now. She's dancing. Dancing with death.
S: Our man Angel here likes to talk, but he's not much for action. All hat and no cat.
As: With you being Special Needs Boy, I figure I should stay close to home.
You and Dru could always use another pair of hands.
G: What's that smell?
W: It's my scapular.
G: Ah. You use sulfur?
W: Yeah.
G: That's clever.
X: Oh yeah, baby. It's snakelicious in here.
W: Giles. Jenny could never be this mean.
G: I know. It's not her is it?
C: I shall *totally* confront and expel all evil.
X: Check it. I'd say school's out for good.
C: Hey, if Sunnydale High School shuts down forever, do we automatically graduate?
X: (to Giles) But why? What does he want? (beat--to Cordy) That's an interesting point.
G: To forgive is an action of compassion, Buffy. It's not done because people deserve it. It's done because they need it.
B: It's just something he's gonna have to live with.
X: ....He can't live with it, Buff. He's dead.
C: Okay. Over-identify much?
X: So what now? Not even a mega-vat of Raid is gonna do the trick here.
C: Is she trying to a big loner hero or something?
X: So Buffy should be safe until we find a way to get her out?
W: In theory, yeah.
As: Fun fact about wasps. They have no taste for the undead.
As: Gosh, Buff.... that's pathetic.
As (as Grace): I loved you with my last breath.
As (as Grace): Shhh.... no more tears.
B: Angel?
W: Everything seems normal. Not a snake, not a wasp.
C: Yup. School can open tomorrow.
X: Explain to me again how that's a good thing?
C: I'm drawing a blank.
S: You might want to let up. They say when you've drawn blood, you've exfoliated.
As: I'm the one who was freakin' violated. You didn't have this *thing* in you.
D: What was it? A demon?
As: Love.
D: Poor Angel.
As: I'm sure he'd be hell on wheels, but we don't have much time. Gotta travel light.
As: Try to have fun without me.
S: Oh I will. *CRASH* Sooner than you think.