Enemies
B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, C=Cordelia, O=Oz, A=AngelJ=Joyce, PS=Principal Snyder, WP=Wesley, F=Faith, M=Mayor Wilkins
B: Well.
A: Well.
B: That was very artistic.
A: Yeah.
B: It wasn't what I expected. I've never actually seen... Well, from the title, I thought it was about food.
A: Well, there was food...
B: Right, the scene with the... food. So, feel like getting some hot chocolate? Or some cold shower?
A: It's been a long time since I've been to the movies. They've changed.
B: A little scary. And a little not, which is also scary.
B: We can't actually do any of those things. You'd lose your soul, and besides, I don't even own a kimono.
B: I just don't like to rub your nose in it. Suddenly wondering where that expression comes from.
A: I don't need to see movies to get worked up. Just being around you does that just fine.
A: It feels nice just to feel.
F: Check out the lust bunnies.
F: The willpower thing? Nice job.
B: Thanks. What?
F: I don't know if I could handle, you know, the way you're not handling it.
B: Faith, when it comes to Angel, do me a favor... duck!
Demon: What are you, nuts? Going around punching people?
B: People?
Demon: So what, I'm a demon, that makes it okay?
Demon: Think about it. Demon seeks Slayers - highly unusual?
B: Not really looking to trade with a demon.
Demon: And if this were still a barter economy, that would be a problem. I want cash, princess. Five large for the whole set.
F: So you can buy - I'm guessing here - some skin care products?
F: I think "die, fiend" sums it up, wouldn't you say?
B: I don't think he falls into the deadly threat to humanity category.
MW: And what exactly did this demon look like?
F: Demonic.
MW: Now, first you load up on calcium, then find this demon, kill the heck out of him, and bring the books to me.
F: And if Buffy gets to him first?
MW: Well, frankly I don't like to think about that. I like good, positive, "up" thoughts.
G: Demons after money. Whatever happened to the still-beating heart of a virgin? No one has any standards any more.
B: Well, we have a winner.
X: And more importantly, two losers.
G: Where did you find that volume?
W: In the top of your book cabinet. With the stuff you try to keep hidden.
X: Hidden? Are there any engravings I should know about? Frolicking nymphs of some kind?
G: "Tomorrow is the ascension. God help us all." It was the last anyone heard.
WP: Of Kane?
G: Of Sharpesville.
B: So, ascension not a love-in.
C: What are you doing Friday night?
WP: Uh, uh... As always, my sacred duty as a Watcher prevents me from... why?
C: I have a paper to write for English, and you're English, so I thought... What? Is it so wrong to be getting an insiders perspective?
X: And on the day the words "flimsy excuse" were redefined, we stood in awe and watched.
WP: Right. Books of Ascension, Mayor, slaughter...
F: You got the books?
Demon: That depends - you got my money?
F: //wham!//
Demon: You're tough in negotiations, and I respect that.
F: Books of Ascension...
Demon: Mm-hmm, original editions and everything. Great condition. Okay,
it's a little worn on one spine, some slight foxing, but otherwise perfect.
F: Look, I hate asking for help, but I'm asking 'cause I'm in trouble, like the real bad kind.
A: It's okay.
F: No, it's a couple county lines over from okay, believe me.
A: Start from the beginning.
F: Mind if I skip past the "Mom never loved me" part and get right to it?
MW: I just don't understand what that boy could be thinking.
F: Try Buffy Summers, like in a big, fat, one-track way.
MW: So you couldn't give him that one moment of true happiness.
F: I was thinking more along the lines of a long weekend, but okay.
MW: There's more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that's factually true.
MW: We wanna take Angel's soul away. If we can't do it by giving him happiness, well, by golly, we'll just have to do it in the most painful way imaginable.
WP: Did you find anything?
G: A six-course banquet of nothing, with a scoop of sod-all as a palate cleanser.
WP: The Council isn't entirely aware that I'm letting you work for me. Uh, with me. I don't think they'd be very happy at the idea of the two of us collaborating.
G: I wasn't about to burst into glorious song about it myself.
WP: Wait for Faith.
B: That could be hours. The girl makes Godot look punctual.
WP: This demon could be anywhere. If these books are as important as he says, he has good reason to hide. Finding him's going to be extremely difficult.
X: Found your demon.
B: Fashion tip, Wes. Mouth looks better closed.
X: Got the address. I beat it out of Willie the snitch personally.
B: You beat up Willie.
X: Sure. Well, actually, let's just say I applied some pressure. Or more accurately that I asked politely, and then - okay, I bribed him.
B: How much?
X: 28 bucks. Does the Council reimburse for that kind of stuff?
G: Did you get a receipt?
X: Damn.
B: It's down by the bus station. Not the nicest part of town.
G: Again, see? No standards. Any self-respecting demon should be living in a pit of filth, or a nice crypt.
B: I'll remember to mention that.
W: You seem a little on edge. Is there anything that's wrong?
B: It's nothing. It's nothing! All right, all right, stop with the third degree.
B: I went to Angel's last night, and Faith was there. They looked sort of... intimate.
W: No way. I know what you're thinking, and no way.
B: You're right, Faith would never do that.
W: Faith would totally do that. Faith was built to do that. She's the "do that" girl.
B: Comfort, remember? Comfort here?
W: I mean, please. Does Angel come up to Faith's standards for a guy? Let's see. Is he breathing?
B: Actually, no.
W: Buffy, I, too, know the love of a taciturn man, and you have to look at their actions.
B: I was.
A: I wanna trust you.
F: Chump.
A: It's good to have the taste of a Slayer back in my mouth. It's like cigarettes, you know? Just when I thought I'd quit... //kick// No, really, don't get up.
A: Let me guess. You summoned back the true Angelus because... you need a new boy toy.
A: Funny thing about vampires, Faith... we don't establish meaningful dialogue with Slayers.
F: Not how Buffy tells it.
A: I should've known you'd like it on top.
F: You wanna listen, or you wanna die?
A: As long as you're there, I mostly want you to wriggle.
B: I'll go home and stock up on weapons. Slip into something a little more break-and-enterish.
C: I'm in Wesley's group.
G: There is just the one group.
C: Yes, and I'm in it.
F: So, can I keep him?
MW: Now then, Angelus... may I call you Angel?
A: Well, actually, I'm thinking more along the lines of you calling me Master.
MW: No trouble with the transition? No side effects?
A: Had a soul. Now I'm free.
MW: That's terrific. Poetic too.
A: Can't be killed. But you don't like germs.
MW: Ew! Awful things. Unsanitary.
MW: But my question is, now that Faith has brought you back, what are your intentions?
A: Well, gee, sir, I thought I'd find that Slayer that's giving you so much trouble, and torture, maim, and kill her.
MW: Fine! It's nice to see you're not one of those slacker types running around town today.
X: "I love when you talk, Wesley. I love when you sing, Wesley." Can you say the words "jail bait," Wesley? Limey bastard.
A: That guy just bugs me.
A: You know, I never properly thanked you for sending me to hell. Yeah, and I'm just wondering, where do I start? Card? Fruit basket? Evisceration?
B: No.
A: Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Maybe there's still some good deep down inside me that remembers and loves you. If only you could reach me. Then again, we have reality.
A: One thing I learned about Buffy - she's so cute when she's sleeping.
C: Hey, I know a way to make investigating the Mayor even more boring. On second thought, no I don't.
O: Oh, whoa.
W: Whoa. Big "hey, whoa."
W: Wow. Like father, like son.
O: How about like exact same guy, like exact same guy?
X: I hate to spoil the mood, but this is so much worse than you think.
W: Xander, what happened to you?
X: You know how some people hate to say, "I told you so"? Not me. I told you so. Angel's back, in the really bad sense, and, um, I told you so.
X: Good thinkin'. Let's waste time with a lively debate. Leave Buffy alone, see how dead she gets.
A: You know what I just can't believe? All of our time together, we never tried chains.
F: Bondage looks good on you, B. The outfit's all wrong, but hey...
F: A dog's all I wanted. Well, that and toys. But Mom was so busy, you know, enjoying the drinking and passing out parts of life that I never really got what I wanted.
F: Come graduation day, he's getting paid. And I'll be sitting at his right hand. Assuming he has hands after the transformation. I'm not too clear on that part.
B: I never knew you had so much rage in you.
F: What can I say? I'm the world's best actor.
A: Second best.
B: May I say something? Psych.
W: His debt to you is repaid? What did you do?
G: I introduced him to his wife.
WP: Well, I for one, protest. You've pitted Slayer against Slayer in a dangerous charade that could have gotten them both killed. Without informing me. I'm telling the Council!
W: Graduation day. There's a big scary un-fun.
W: At least Angel's not bad, though. That's good, right?
X: Yes, I feel so much better knowing that he broke my face in the "good" way. It's a "good" bruise.
MW: Still unhappy? Okey-doke. I've got two words that are gonna make all the pain go away - miniature... golf.
A: You still my girl?
B: Always