B=Buffy, W=Willow, X=Xander, D=Dawn, G=Giles, S=Spike, A=Anya
An=Andrew, K=Kennedy, F=Faith, R=Robin, Ag=Angel
C=Caleb, FE=First Evil
B=Buffy, W=Willow, X=Xander, D=Dawn, G=Giles, S=Spike, A=Anya
C: So... you found it. Not impressed. 'Cause the question now, girly-girl, is can you pry it from solid rock before I come over there and... (Buffy easily pulls the scythe from the rock) Darn.
C: You don't even know what you've got there.
B: I know you're backing away.
W: So it's true -- scythe matters.
G: And, ignoring that...
B: Kills strong bodies three ways.
G: I can't imagine how something like this could exist without my having heard of it.
B: Well, the good guys are not traditionally known for their communications skills.
B: It's not just a tool. It's important. We need to find out whatever we can. Who made it, when, why? Does it have a name? And, I don't know, a credit report?
An: I liked the real bandages better. These bedsheets are awfully festive.
A: Yeah, they're gonna look like mortally wounded Easter baskets.
A: Giles knows his single-malt antiseptics.
A: I'll get Kennedy to watch the girls. She's tough. Imminent death won't bother her.
B: You got it?
X: Wait. I'm not to the "got it" place yet. I'm still in the neighborhood of "you've gotta be kidding."
B: Of course I'm not putting you out to pasture. What does that even *mean*?
X: Well, you know, it's like when a cow gets old, and loses an eye, or its ability to be milked, the farmer takes it and puts it in a different pasture, so it won't have to... fight with the priests.
B: Also, you can't shoot a bow and arrow anymore, and every time you pick up a sword I worry that you're gonna break one of our good lamps.
X: Hey!
B; Don't look at me. You're the one who said I'm gonna die.
X: I never said you were gonna die, I implied that you were gonna die. Totally different.
X: Besides, if you die, I'll just bring you back to life. That's what I do.
W: If I tried something big, I'd change. And then it's all black hair and veins and lightning bolts. I can hardly do a locator spell without getting dark roots.
D: I don't leave crossbows around all willy-nilly. Not since that time with Miss Kitty Fantastico.
X: You know what's even worse? All those stupid "it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye" jokes.
X: I mean, give me some "eye of the beholder" jokes. You know? Or some "eye for an eye" jokes. Or maybe even a post-modern "I, Claudius" joke, you know? It's about standards, Dawnie.
C: I'm calm. You should see me when I get angry.
C: Okay, let's do it.
FE: Boy, you sure know how to romance a girl. No flowers, no dinner, no tour of the rectory. Just "okay, I'm ready, let's do it." Help me, my knees are weak.
F: Somebody has to lead. Let's vote for Chao-Ahn. It's harder to lead people into a deathtrap if you don't speak English.
F: So, here's the laugh riot. My whole life I've been a loner.
B: That's the funny part? Did I miss something?
F: I'm trying to...
B: Sorry.
B: We're just good friends. Or mortal enemies, depending on which day of the...
F: There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.
B: Also, you went evil and were killing people.
F: Good point. Also a factor.
B: Being a Slayer? There's a burden we can't share.
F: And no one else can feel it. (pause) that said, we're hot chicks with superpowers.
B: Takes the edge off.
F: Comforting.
S: Honey, you're home.
S: You did it. Fulfilled your mission. Found the Holy Grail, or the holy hand grenade, or whatever the hell that is.
B: You like?
S: Well, pointy and wooden is not exactly the look I want to know better, but it does have flair.
B: You're a dope.
S: I'm a what?
B: You're a dope. And a bonehead. And you're shirty.
S: Have you gone completely Carrot-top?
S: All I did was hold you and watch you sleep. And it was the best night of my life.
An: You are the perfect woman.
A: I've often thought so.
A: Wanna rob?
An: Let's rob.
A: There was this other apocalypse this one time and I took off.
A: I guess I just realized how amazingly screwed up they all are. I mean really, really screwed up, in a monumental fashion. And they have no purpose that unites them so they just drift around, blundering through life until they die... which they... they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens to them. They're incapable of thinking about what they want beyond the moment. They kill each other, which is clearly insane. And yet, here's the thing -- when it's something that really matters, they fight. I mean, they're lame morons for fighting, but they do. They never... never quit. So I guess I will keep fighting, too.
An: That was kind of beautiful. You... you love humans.
A: I do not!
An: Yes you do. You loooooove them.
A: Stop it! I don't love them! And I'll kill you if you tell anybody.
Wise Woman: We forged this centuries ago, halfway around the world.
B: Hence the Luxor casino theme.
Wise Woman: Forged then, it was put to use right here... to kill the last pure demon that walked upon the Earth. The rest were already driven under. And then there were men here, and then there were monks, and then there was a town, and now there was you.
C: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last part on account of her neck snapping and all. Did you say the end is near... or here?
D: What happened?
X: Um, I thought you might say that.
D: Actually, I meant to say what the *hell* happened?
X: It was chloroform.
D: Color forms... what?
X: Chloroform. Are you still loopy?
D: Sorry about that -- someone knocked me out with chloroform.
Ag: You look good.
B: You look timely. And also good.
Ag: At least you could tell me you're glad to see me.