Cl: Can you believe this mishegoss?
B: Yeah, you'd think these people had never seen an apocalypse before.
Cl: You can't swing a cat without hitting some kind of demonic activity. Not that I swing cats. Or eat-- nope. Cutting way back. Cholesterol-- morals. I mean morals.
Cl: If you save the world, I'll come back, we'll have drinks. When. When, I mean. *When* you save the world.
X: You know what the best part is? No one will ever make me watch "Jaws 3-D" again.
A: Holy water seems to run off these guys like they've been scotch-guarded.
A: I myself would much rather be sitting at the bedside of my one-eyed ex-fiance than killing time here with you people in this over-crowded and, might I add, increasingly ripe-smelling basement.
Amanda: Do you think there are going to be questions about her sex life on the test? 'Cause I really hope I don't have to study all that.
D: I was gonna do lots and lots of homework, but, darn the luck, they went and canceled school.
C: Oh, now look -- things don't go exactly your way, so here come the waterworks. Ain't that just like a woman.
C: You're angry, frustrated, scared. I like that in a girl.
G: Spike, I have a mission for you.
S: Oh, really? 'Cause, you know, sometimes our missions end up with you trying to kill me. I'm not fond of those.
K: What kind of band plays during an apocalypse?
D: I think this band might actually be one of the signs.
G: Is he...?
B: ...still able to make me see cartoon birdies all around my head? You betcha. The short lack of consciousness was nice. I feel rested.
S: It's not a road trip, it's a covert operation.
An: Right, right, gotcha. I bet even covert operatives eat curly fries. They're really good.
S: Not as good as those onion blossom things.
An: It's an onion, and it's a flower. I don't understand how such a thing is possible.
S: See, the genius of it is, you soak it in ice water for an hour so it holds its shape. Then you deep fry it root-side up for about five minutes.
An: Masterful!
S: Yeah. Tell anyone we had this conversation, I'll bite you.
F: This one's from someone who just thinks she's a cop. It's my favorite of all my current bruises.
R: I think you're worried about her.
F: I think you need to brush up on your Buffy and Faith history.
K: You have to pretend there's a big party here.
X: That's fine. Parties in this house, I usually end up having to rebuild something.
An: "Can't" is a four-letter word! I'm Andrew -- I'll be your bad cop this evening.
An: "Run" is a four-letter word... a three-letter word.
Monk: One night, some time ago, a man arrived at our doors.
S: And you said "Come in, do some damage"?
X: I'm trying to see your point here, Buff, but I guess it must be a little to my left... 'cause I just don't.
B: See, I didn't think this was a popularity contest. I should have equal time to bake them cookies, braid their hair...
F: Learn their names.
F: I don't know if I can lead. But the real question is: can you follow?