Blood Ties
B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, R=Riley, S=Spike, A=Anya, D=DawnT=Tara, J=Joyce, GL=Glory
W: This is exactly what you need. A 20th birthday party with... with presents and funny hats and those candles that don't blow out. Those used to scare me.
T: Me too.
X: We're going up against a god. An actual, mightier-than-thou god.
W: Well, you know what they say: the bigger they are--
A: The faster they stomp you into nothing.
G: All we have to worry about right now is that she's immortal, invulnerable, and insane.
X: A crazy hellgod? And the fun just keeps on leaving!
T: She... she's a brain sucker?
B: I just didn't want to put you in that kind of danger.
X: As opposed to the other kind we're always in?
GL: Never send a minion to do a god's work.
GL: Hey, nice sword. Bet it hurts.
W: We're doing an early-warning incantation. If anything hellgod-ishly powerful comes within a hundred feet of the shop, then screechy siren things will, you know, screech.
D: Can I help?
W: Well, I don't think Buffy would like the black arts bumping auras with the littlest Summers.
D: What's up with you? Did you get into the sugar again?
X: Anya, you want to help me with that thing?
A: Xander needs help with his thing!
G: I'm not sure our regular workout is challenging you anymore. Perhaps we should make it harder.
B: You always think harder is better. Maybe the next time I patrol I should carry a load of bricks and use a stake made of butter.
B: How was school today?
D: The usual, big square building filled with boredom and despair.
B: Just how I remember it.
D: I just think you're freaking out 'cause you have to fight someone prettier than you. That is the case, right?
B: Glory is evil and powerful... and in no way prettier than me.
B: Prezzies!
W: See, just what you needed.
B: You are very, very wise. Now, gimmee, gimmee, gimmee!
A: This is extremely suspenseful. I want the presents!
T: We thought you'd get lots of crossbows and other killy stuff.
W: Yeah, so we figured, less killy, more frilly.
A: Oh, it's just so lovely! Oh, I wish it was mine! Oh, like you weren't all thinking the same thing.
G: I'm fairly certain I wasn't. I've got one just like it.
D: Well, geeze, don't get all movie-of-the-week.
D: Why does everybody start acting all weird when I'm around?
X: Me? Me not weird.
A: We were talking about sex. I mean, you know us, sometimes we like to pretend stuff.
X: Anya...
A: You know, like, say there's a fireman or a shepherd--
B: You know what? Let's not have this exchange of images right now.
D: Geeze! Lurk much?
S: I wasn't lurking. I was standing about. It's a whole different vibe.
S: Shouldn't you be tucked away in your beddy-bye? All warm and safe where nothing can eat you?
D: Is that supposed to scare me?
S: //sighs// Little tremble wouldn't hurt.
D: Come on. I'm badder than you.
S: Are not!
S: Magic shop, eh? All number of beasties between her and there. Bet they'd really go for a little red riding hood like you. Bet that wouldn't set too well with big sister.
D: I can take care of myself. //pause// You want to come steal some stuff?
S: Yeah, all right.
S: Where'd he learn to write so bloody small, a fruit fly?
S: "The monks possessed the ability to transform energy... bend reality." Blah, blah, blah. Good lord, Giles writes as dull as he talks, doesn't he?
B: No contact with civilians. There's probably a code name for it. You know, like "radio silence." It's "greeting card silence."
B: Maybe it's time to start a new tradition... birthdays without boyfriends. It could be just as much fun.
W: Preaching to the choir here, baby.
D: What am I? Am I real? Am I anything?
S: Morning, Sunshine. If you've come around for eggs or sausage, I'm fresh out.
S: Not like I knew she was mystical glowy key thing. Nobody keeps me in the bloody loop, do they?
S: Maybe if YOU had been more honest with her in the first place, you wouldn't be trying to make yourself feel better with a round of "kick the Spike."
Monk: The Knights of Byzantium are like ants. First you see one, then two... then the picnic's ruined.
Ben: What is she going to do? Send a six-pack of minions to bore me to death?
B: The Slayer is the only thing standing between Dawn and this god from the bitch dimension that wants to shove her in some kind of lock and give her a good twirl.
B: We have to find her, and fast. Before Glory or the Knights of hack and slash figure out what-- WHO she really is.
X: You know, she kinda has a crush on me.
G: Your point being?
X: Well, nothing... No, just saying, powerful being... big energy gal digging the Xan-man. Some guys are just cooler, you know?
S: She's not just a blob of energy, she's also a 14-year-old hormone bomb. Which one's crewing her up more right now? Spin the bloody wheel.
S: You'll find her just in the nick of time. That's what you hero types do.
Ben: Couldn't find any marshmallows. I'll try to steal some for next time.
D: Don't like 'em anyway.
Ben: What? Is that even possible?
D: Too squishy. When I was five, Buffy told me they were monkey brains and...
GL: Ugh, cotton! Could a fabric be more annoyingly pedestrian? Now this is what I'm talking about. Makes your skin sing!
GL: I'm in a bit of a crunch here, so let's cut right to the ooey, gooey center. Your sister, the Slayer, has my key. It's mine, I want it. Do you know where she squirreled it away? There's ice cream and puppy dogs in it for you if you start singing.
D: Is it evil?
GL: Totally! Well, no, not really.
GL: Two birds, one stone, and
GL: Hey, we were just talking about you.
B: What did you do to her?
B: You are my sister. There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't.
B: I have to get you home now. Mom's freaking out.
B: Conversation's over, hellbitch.
W: Teleportation spell. Still working out the kinks.
B: Where'd you send her?
W: Don't know. That's one of the kinks.
D: Oh. Is she mad about the whole fire thing?
B: I think you sort of have a "get out of jail free" card on account of big love and trauma.
D: Really? Okay. Good.
B: Don't push it.