Beneath You
B=Buffy, X=Xander, W=Willow, A=Anya, D=Dawn, S=SpikeG=Giles, N=Nancy, H=Halfrek, P=Principal Robin Wood
B: I heard screaming.
D: That was you.
B: There was a girl.
D: That would be me.
D: Could you die? 'Cause, seriously, speaking for everybody who are me in the car right now, we're very excited.
B: Well, I'm glad for all of you, then.
D: I mean, it's just so cool, your coming to school with me. You'll be, like, there the whole time. [pause] You understand you cannot talk to me, look at me, or hang out with any of my friends, right?
X: Outside of drugs and violence and unwanted pregnancy, and unleashing of hordes of Armageddon that comes pouring out of the school's foundation every now and then, what troubles could these kids have?
D: I thought you hated Sunnydale?
X: Yes, and no, with the emphasis on the yes.
X: She bounced back to being a vengeance demon, and I bounced back to being a dateless nerd.
X: I guess there's a lot of scorned women there wishing vengeance wishes on their exes.
B: That's where I go to when I get my scorn on.
D: You guys really need to ease up with the whole dating demons thing.
B: Uh, hello, I'm sorry -- wasn't that you having the smoochathon with teen vampire last Halloween?
D: See, this is why I don't want you talking to my friends.
B: Can I give detention?
P: Okay by me. A little authority can be a wonderful thing.
P: You open that door and these students will eat you alive.
B: You heard about Principal Flutie, right?
P: There's only three things these kids understand: the boot, the bat, and the bastinada. [chuckles, pauses] It's the... It's a... It's a bad joke. It's the bastinada. No one ever
knows what that thing is.
B: A wooden rod used to slap the soles of the feet in Turkish prisons, but if made with the correct wood, makes an awesome billy-club.
P: I think you're gonna fit in just fine.
B: Was it my sparkling personality? Or maybe you enjoyed my work at Doublemeat Palace?
P: I'm a vegetarian.
G: The taxi's here.
W: I know.
G: And in keeping with quaint old British tradition, you would now be expected to get into it.
G: That's your fear talking.
W: Yes, and my fear's a big obnoxious blabbermouth.
G: Try to be very specific -- what exactly are you afraid of?
W: Well, for starters, how about the Hellmouth's getting all rumbley again? And now I know it's got teeth, and are those literal teeth? 'Cause I don't know if I can handle it. And what if I can handle it? Does that mean I have to be a bigger, badder badass than the source of all badness?
X: It's your lucky night. Considering, you know, your dog just got all ate up and stuff.
S: We need to talk. Want to do that here, or privately?
X: I'm thinking here. In the company of good friends and pointy weapons.
S: Something's coming. I don't know what, exactly, but something's brewing. And it's so big, ugly, and damned, it makes you and me look like little bitty puzzle pieces.
N: Shouldn't we call the police or something?
X: And tell them...?
N: I'll stop interrupting.
D: I'm command central, so everybody check-in with me. Okay, I'll be here doing my homework, but the other one sounded cooler.
D: Spike, you sleep, right? You -- vampires -- you sleep?
S: Yeah, what's your point?
D: Well, I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with the chip in your head. But you do sleep. And if you hurt my sister at all, touch her... you're gonna wake up on fire.
S: And when exactly did your sister get unbelievably scary?
S: I don't fancy sticking my head in that.
B: But if something bites it off, that'd be a clue.
S: Those ghostly types in the school basement got in my head. Made me flat-out, bug-shagging crazy.
S: We've been through things. The end of the world and back.
X: Sunnydale -- come for the food, stay for the dismemberment.
N: There's good food?
N: Well, thanks. And that's a couple levels of lameness right there.
N: So, do you think I might, instead, give you a call sometime?
X: Just to check in?
N: No, actually, I'm hitting on you.
X: Even better. I'm very listed.
N: And I'm really pushy, so that works out well, then.
X: Nancy... I just got a swell idea. Run!
B: Anya, that thing you created burst through solid pavement and ate her dog.
A: Oh, a puppy!
X: Wait. That gets your sad noise? People's lives are in danger, and you give it up for the Yorkie?
N: Is there anyone here that hasn't slept together?
[Xander and Spike look at each other, look away]
A: At least we're all bipeds, which is more than I can say for Ronnie the worm-boy.
S: Hey, is that it? A little touchy-feely and you're off to the batpoles?
S: That's right! Big bad's back, and lookin' for a little death.
S: The joke's on me. Lots of laughs. Hey, bring the wife and kiddies, come see the show. 'Cause it's gonna be a circus.
S: Just the beginning, love. A warm-up act. The real headliner's coming, and when that band hits the stage, all of this.. all this... will come tumbling in death and screaming, horror and bloodshed. From beneath you, it devours.
X: It could be worse.
A: Oh, it will be.
S: No more mind games. No more mind.
B: Spike, have you completely lost your mind?
S: Well, yes. Where have you been all night?