Part the Third: "The Clothes Make the... um... Slayerette?"
by Dianne DeSha (a.k.a. la Mercenaire).

Disclaimer: Much thanks to everyone who "shared" *g*, either by offering general costuming advice for the faire (and *lots* of it! //waves at Amy *g*//), or by offering wish-lists and ideas for what they want to see the Slayerettes in. A large debt is also due to the Renaissance Faire Homepage, which helped remind me of things I already kinda knew, but kept forgetting-- I recommend it highly to faire virgins who want a quick feel for things before they write. :)

Having said that, I took all this wonderful advice... and did whatever the hell I felt like with it. ;-))) None of the above are in any way responsible for any grave omissions, errors, inaccuracies, or random insanity I've here displayed. I must also warn you that my sense of style, color, and fashion sense are pretty pathetic (*How* did I get stuck with the garbing section, again???), so if their outfits end up hideous... well, I tried! :) I also decided that, while they may have been to Faire before, none of them (save Jenny) paid all that much attention or have done any of the garbing-and-getting-into-persona stuff. So deal :)

O.k., I'm shutting up now-- on with the show! ;-)

Part the Fourth: "And the Mercs Thought They Had a Kangaroo Court...It's the Bobby and Eddie Show"
by Amy L. Hull

1. This is an amalgam of several sessions of Court of Common Pleas at the Bristol Ren Faire. Everything in here really happened this summer.

2. Sir Edward Coke's surname is pronounced "Cook". He would not have been alive during Anne Boleyn's tenure as Queen of England. We are ignoring this fact.

3. The pickle guys are for real. Honest.

4. It was pointed out to me that The Amazing Renaissance Pop-Up Breasts should have a (tm) on it. It seems awkward within the piece though. :-)

5. For photos of Sir Edward Coke, Robert Cecil (who in real life is Tina's roommate's boyfriend's brother), the Sea Dogs (see the "sibling rivalry at it's worst" photo), Court of Common Pleas and the Puritans (Silas and Ebeniezer), go to: LJC's page. You can see our Queen there, too. She's really wonderful.

Now on to the story:

Part the Fifth: "...And Then Lunch"
by Abby Albrecht

Note: These characters are all mine! Mine I say! Bwahahaha... Mineminemine! Alllll Mine! (well, except for the one's that aren't.)

Oh, and vast tracts of land is a Star Trek joke referring to a female's chest taking all of the attention. (Seven of Nine... busting out all over.)

And I guessed at the prices. I'm so used to carney food where a soda costs $1.50....

Part the Seventh: "In the Lists"
by Ammy L. Hull.

1. German pronunciation and meaning guide:

"Schatzie" < shot-zee > (Rhymes with Potsie, but with a "shot" sound at the beginning) It's a variation on/endearment of the word for "sweetheart" (mein Schatz).

"Wie sch–n Sie wieder zu sehen" < vee shern zee vee-der tsoo zay-en > How nice to see you again.

"Guten Tag" < goo-ten tahg > Hello/good day. "Nein, nein, mein Liebchen. F¸r you..." < nine, nine, mine leeb-hyen. Fyer > No, no, sweetie, for you...

2. Anachronisms? What anachronisms?

3. I'm not making up any of these characters, their names, or their personae. Honest. Okay, well, I'm winging it on the squires' personae, since I haven't paid terribly close attn. to them in the past.

4. I wrote to Tara to confirm that it was all right to include her in an uncredited cameo as the wench being dragged by the hair by Bardolph, who would then punch him in the stomach. She wrote back, agreeable to the idea, but asking eagerly, "But...could I head-butt him, then knee him in the groin, then kick him in the head?" I pointed out that she couldn't head-butt him, as he had her by the hair. She agreed to skip that part, "But I still wanna knee him in the groin, then kick him in the head, okay?" I said that I didn't know how she was going to *reach* his head with her foot, seeing as he's a good foot taller than her *and* she's wearing voluminous, multiple skirts. She quickly returned, "Yes, but once I knee him in the groin, his head will be *a lot closer* to my foot."

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