The Sunnydale Slayers and company descended on Columbus Ohio to see Valerie Meachum portray Goneril in 'King Lear'. After amusing the Rosebriar Shakespeare Company, they moved on to Ohio Rennaisance Festival, and terrorized the local vampire population (to say nothing of the mundanes). Pictures donated by Amparo Bertram (click to see the big ones).
General warnings about profanity, punning, and other possible perversions apply. [Ed: I mostly only kept on the SunS and Buffy quotes. The full version is over on my Quote List archive.]
We bounced at you and you suddenly teleported across the baggage claim and were hugging us.
It's not boxes of fruit, it's boxes of liquid fruit.
By the way, Laura, welcome to the Amazing Topic Change Conversation From Hell.
This new Fx channel's gonna be the death of me.
Oh, I'm confusing my new trash TV shows.
I walked in and here was Han Solo in a Babylon 5 t-shirt.
I need to make a list of things that ring oogy bells.
Laura's the only non-evil quote person in the car.
I'm sure she's trainable.
Merging in Texas usually involves shotguns.
Of course she's making gooby faces; she's Perri.
Okay, I'm knocking on wood pulp.
That was a really big thingie sentence.
It's a sound that new brakes generally make.
It's a good brake noise.
It'll grow out of it?
It's a bathroom pow-wow. Kinda like a drum ritual, but not.
Didn't someone insert "naked" after drum ritual?
I'm not up on my McDonald's Pantheon.
It's the chink in the armor of the Waffle House.
Yeah, a dramatic reading of the news.
It's called broadcast.
Oooh! Oooh! Pretty chocolate!
'Mated with' implies no clothing and mad animal sex.
Welcome to mangled proverbs.
Left alone with coconut-loving heathens? I don't think so.
They're not on the floor; they're on the bananas.
Follow that segue--it's getting away!
Blinkers are your friends.
I don't think they ever made their blinkers' acquaintance.
They're fighting.
It's so precious!
And you know, the kissing scenes aren't bad either.
You don't want to know anything about the mating habits of the Waffle House?
Only 7 additional humans?
Well, we didn't bring any non-humans.
Look: hair thingie, natural enemy of the kitty. ...Valiant kitty vanquished the hair thingie.
Come here honey, I will worship you.
Perri, wanna help me kill them? Oh, wait, you're asleep. Wanna help me kill them tomorrow?
Okay.
Double your Slayer and double your fun. Angel gets two and Xander gets none.
Cool. Thank you. Mine-mine-mine.
Just ignore them and let them go play with themselves in the corner.
Living vicariously through her daughter's fandoms...that's scary.
This is why I've had "Happy Phantom" running through my head for the last two days. Don't ask.
That sounds dangerously close to a mantra.
That's insane--but it's you.
Oh, that's semi-frightening.
Then there's the Curious Case of Maureen.
It makes me feel like a Nancy Drew mystery.
For Halloween, you have to costume for civilians.
I was hoping if I didn't aim at anything it would hit something.
Multiple Bonds?
Yes, we had three.
Double-oh-twenty-one.
I thought you said "hedgehogs in residence". I was really good.
I know we have a bag of food because it has yummy stuff in it.
That's okay. My ears are tired. In fact, they're asleep--let me stamp them to wake them up.
Pouting does you no good.
Yes it does; it makes me look cute and pathetic.
So are we all wenching it at Faire?
I am.
I am.
I am.
[Jack]:--I'm not.
Faire is the holodeck.
Amoeba hug.
Need a breath.
You pretty much take a baby step away from Catholicism and everyone's going "Pope, schmope.".
How do you feel about crossing the street, babe?
Perri's more fun than cartoons.
She's got it. The eyebrows moving independently, not only of each other, but of any other cells in her body.
Something is rousing the Perri-unit.
Let there be light.
And they saw that it was, well, acceptable.
And they saw that it was bothering Perri, but, oh, well.
[Ed. Rampant abuse of sleeping people! Rampant! *sniff*]
And which country are we from today?
Valerie-land.
You announce all your actions beforehand in Valerie-land.
Ah-ah-ah-ah! Shit!
I think I would rather not plug this into a source of electricity again.
Where else would you plug it?
Somebody did a study and realized that writing is, like, English.
You're putting Xander on transporter duty. You've lost all claim of innocence.
The locusts descend upon Betsy.
Okay, how many of us are going to be making extra comm badges on the replicators to take home? [hands go up everywhere]
Skippy's Evil Twin.
...Skippy.
The higher the body count on stage, the higher the quote count backstage.
We have eighteen people. We kill a couple of them twice.
They're helpful in their own, sweet, strange way.
I would have said sweet, strange, useless way.
Because it didn't kill enough guys.
Well, that would define "feminist" for me.
I have a drug pen.
That's Amy's kind of pen.
And once a day you pop out of the lawn.
The Tanya Huff "Blood-insert-thingie-here" series.
She could give him his personal pronouns for Christmas.
She would hate it a lot as a general thing.
I will acknowledge that he's dead, but I'm not happy about it. Therefore I will mantra.
Did you...did anyone else...oh, never mind.
Who do we have besides our two?
Threepio?
You don't have the Cold War to fall back on. It's really annoying.
The dog would go, "Oh, that's bad. I'll let the kid drink it and see what happens."
They're uncommon. They're uncommonly bad.
I watched the first episode and, it was just so boring... I mean, not Millennium-boring.
We should stumble under our burdens and claim vampires attacked us.
Attacked us and dragged us into a thrift store?
In broad daylight, no less.
We get multiple things going.
And write them down.
Turn them into quote lists.
Do damage! Don't just sit there and cower, you little twit!
That's the only distinction in Spanish between it and potato.
That cracks me up...obviously, I just did.
It's always good to know that my friends are here to insult me whenever I need it.
And rub your shoulders, don't forget that.
Angels, they fly? They drive.
It's a message.
No, it's a flute.
The Masai tribesmen have a lot of fun making up stories to tell the white guys who come around asking questions.
If for some weird reason you feel like watching this Conan series....
What?
Don't.
Well, if your happiness meets our happiness, then...
I don't have to pull out the whip.
Pod can be Barbie.
Oh, joy.
My butt's numb.
We're the Psycho Bitch From Hell's fan club.
We're her entourage.
Laura, you and I are garb free-loaders and proud of it.
Ooh! Chain mail!
And the Fool walks in on a cleavage discussion.
Gee, should we pick up the axe murderer?
The Power Hungry Psycho Bitch needs a desperate shower.
We've Buffy-ized Shakespeare.
It's soy-so.
I think we're getting close to 'fuck me' territory.
Sure. We'll come up and throw a cat at you.
I attach everything to thongs and force it to be dangleable
I'd share your obsession. Not tonight; dear, I have headache.
I'd write that down, but the quote list is over there.
Ah. We're reaching the laziness portion of the weekend.
You could scoot stuff off Betsy and sit on her, but I don't think she'd be happy about it.
Perri is attempting to form a thought.
She's not happy about it.
The continental plates are moving.
Nope. It's gone.
I think you should not be able to keep a quote list around me until I've been awake for at least an hour.
I'd say, "Die, Tina", but I need you right now, so you live.
I'd think "Die, Tina, die" would be 'Insert Stock Phrase 17' by now.
She's the only one who's had money on the bed recently.
Let's not ask why I've had money on the bed, okay?
So. What should I put on?
Garb?
This backrub has been interrupted by our Emergency Quotelist System. If this were a real Quote Emergency....
Which one?
Or the other?
I need someone to pull my shift.
The Stages of Bodice:
Stage One: "Hi. I'm so-and-so, and these are my breasts."
Stage Two: "Hi. These are my breasts, and my name is so-and-so."
Stage Three. "Hell-LO! I have a *name*!"
You just need to find the right string to pull.
As with bodices, so with people.
Where' the quote list?
It ran away.
Right now, the guy in black is thinking, "That's what I need. A cape."
Cleavage peer pressure!
Iced tea flow charts. What an idea.
Ow! Ow! Ow! That's the pointy part!
You're beating the android.
There's a bobbin in my mug.
We stuffed her and mounted her.
Does your quote list hang low?
And it doth go 'spuh'.
There's something sticking out there and it's your boob.
It was a nine-ribbon pileup.
Plastic? How am I supposed to stake him with plastic?
The coffin is empty.
Yippee!
Yay!
It's not the size of the stake that counts...
Are we all staked?
Ladies, start your stakes.
You can't stake her; she's a slayer!
It was a match made in heaven...or at least a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
I want drinkage as opposed to suckage.
Close, but no heart.
He's all heart. That way, if you stab him anywhere it works.
You don' want a nice pattern in your sunburn?
If you'd been wearing green glasses you could be the Kermit Slayer.
Plastic stakes aren't period.
Plastic stakes don't work, period.
And we're like, fannish exit.
Nay! Nay! I got them out of Valerie's fridge. ...I think.
Oh, God, I wish you could put facial expressions on a quote list!
I have to read them before I can read them.
It happened because Tara and Jessica are in the same space and create words.
Didn't you say that, Betsy.
No, I did.
Oh. Jack said it.
We look alike.
We have a new mantra-sister!
If there were a God in Heaven, there'd be no such thing as quote list.
Quote!
Oh, shit.
The beer is in the pickup truck.
The beer *isn't* in the pickup truck.
You hurt your own head.
Yes.
That's *very* British of you. -- Dirk Perfect and Guido Crescendo
You want to sit with stranger?
I was making perfect sense.
She was. I just wasn't getting it.
I was just sitting here, thinking, "Maureen's life is just so boring without potato famines."?
You need a "she said questioningly" at the end.
We'll get money for it.
What are we talking about.
Potato blight.
Betsy took a nap....Perri is choking.
What do you think about those girls, huh? Pretty weird... -- random people in Wendy's restroom
You can't turn around at Bristol without hitting the ground.
Love you, Perri. And quoting you too.
You can write that down before you go.
We don't need another part thirteen of Angel Naked.... Did you *see* the look on her face?
I think now the quote list ends.
No we still have the trip home.
I think quote trip is more like it.
That would be a typo originally.
I'm sure your cooties are fine and honorable ones.
Here, have trash.
Ah, I now see your true motivation for allowing me cookie.
Welcome to Flexible Ethics 101.
It's not the ethics I'm worried about; it's getting caught.
