Crichton: "God-like alien. Man, do I hate god-like aliens! I'll trade a critter for a god-like alien any day!"

Crichton: "The mist is not your friend."
Aeryn: "Right. Bad mist."
Crichton: "Naughty mist."

Rygel: "Right. That's done it. He's gone."

To truly appreciate this bit, fill in the grunts, moans and cheesy sax music yourselves. We can't do it justice
Crichton: "Are you done?"
Aeryn: "I'm almost done. I'm really close."
Crichton: "Close?"
Aeryn: "Nearly there."
Crichton: "God, I love you."
Aeryn: "I love you, too."
Crichton: "Tell me when you're done."
Aeryn: "I'm nearly done."
Crichton: "Tell me when you finish."
Aeryn: "I....."
Crichton: "Yeah? Yes?"
Aeryn: "Almost..."
Crichton: "Yeah?"
Aeryn: "I'm nearly done."
Crichton: "Tell me when you're finishing."
Aeryn: "Last one... Finished!"
Aeryn makes an amazing athletic leap into John's arms as he braces her against the wall and they begin making out next to the conduit they were repairing. Get your minds out of the gutter!

Aeryn: "Frell!"
Crichton: "Yeah."
Aeryn: "No, no, I mean bad frell!"

Crichton: "Thanks for watching my backside."
Aeryn: "Couldn't help myself."

Aeryn: "Stark, you listen to me! You try anything like that again and I will personally take you to the other side!"

Crichton: "Aeryn is my Zhaan. She's my Zhaan in every way, I love her, and I would die for her and you know what, Stark? You're killing her. You're killing her, you Freakazoid psycho bastard, you're killing my Zhaan!"

Mu-Qillus: "Stop what you are doing!"
Crichton: "Is there some kind of stupid alien quotation book you guys use?"
Mu-Qillus: "A deal between us can be brokered."
Crichton: "Lava boy, you are losing!"
Mu-Qillus: "A compromise assures your survival."
Crichton: "Again with the quote book! Hey, quote me on this -- we're gonna blow up your fuse box!"

Aeryn: "What about other Leviathans you'll encounter?"
Mu-Qillus: "Why should that concern you?"
Aeryn: "That was the wrong answer."
Crichton: "Sorry."

Crichton: "Damn, Smoky, you can't argue with a woman!"

Most of the fun in this episode came from everyone's reactions to everyone else -- Crais' barely-concealed disgust at the John-Aeryn PDAs, Aeryn's incredulous 'whatever' face and laugh when Crais tries to give her orders, anyone's reaction when they see Rygel, the Lean, Mean Eating Machine. Their actions are perfectly rational and reasonable; it's everyone else who's losing it. The rest of the fun comes from a weird range of details -- Paul Goddard's hopelessly scene-chewing performance, the wonderfully cheesy sax music in the background of every John-Aeryn scene, the hysterical angel/devil makeup jobs on the two guest actors (she knished? Nice Jewish girl, apparently).... I could go on. Everything was played just on the edge of too much, so that the sneaking suspicion always lurked: "They're not really taking this seriously.... Right?" It works in the way the best of the old 40s space operas work today -- with the audience laughing helplessly at the sheer badness of it all! All we needed was a couple-three robots in the front row....

The entire opening scene with Crais and Xhalax was a lovely mind-frell the first time around, when we had no idea what we were getting into but, seriously, John's out of his mind if he thinks Crais would ever go back to the Peacekeepers (still not sure about the Aeryn part), Crais' reaction to that much of an adrenaline overload notwithstanding. Paranoia, check. Control freak tendencies in overdrive, check. Delusions of captainly grandeur, check. Xenophobia (he never did refer to Stark as anything other than 'the Bannick slave'), check. But, for the record, Bialar dude, two things. One, telling someone you're trying to save them just before you start shooting is not calculated to instill trust. And two, giving Rygel orders is pointless at the best of time, and hazardous to your health at the worst. :P Learn from this experience.

And how much do I really need to comment on Rygel's new application to Overeater Anonymous. :P Yechk.

Man, John and Aeryn were straight out of a piece of 'shipper fanfic -- one of the funny/bad ones. Not in the sappy, over-the-top way of that last scene in Green-Eyed Monster, but in the laughing, teasing, making-out anywhere and anywhen wish-fulfillment way. For all the nastiness of the situation, the adrenaline rush from the drexim mist gives our two favorite angst junkies the excuse to be silly in their relationship, to have fun with sex and just being together. I approve! And watching the two of them be completely unable to be in the same room and not be touching (read: stroking, grabbing and feeling each other up in ways ranging from the subtle to the TV-M) was, well, sweet, mind-altering substances aside. When they weren't biting clothing.... And, of course, hearing all of the innuendo and 'I love you's being tossed around casually in the course of saving the ship and each other was just... coool. That's how a relationship between two action heroes should be!

(On a more depressing note, you have to feel for John Green, back on Moya, who is almost certainly clinging to the hope that Aeryn will come back and have somehow 'saved' herself for him, the 'real' one. Not going to be a fun scene when the crews reunite....)

All the things that normally annoy the hell out of us about Stark are exaggerated to total insanity this time around, somehow making them so much more tolerable than when we're supposed to be taking him seriously. His overly-compassionate determination to help Sierjna would be endearing, if it wasn't in such complete defiance of everyone else's odds of survival. His delight in being Talyn's Pilot would be cool, if letting a guy with highly questionable sanity bond with an immature baby gunship wasn't such a spectacularly bad idea. (Oh, the screams from Denver and Chicago....) But showing Stark talking to and escorting Sierjna from Rygel's POV (uber-solicitous arm around empty air) was genius, and watching Crais cut him out of the pilot attachments was just classic! This is the most fun I've had watching Paul Goddard work since his introduction (although I'm with one of our flunkies, Tina, who firmly believes that associating Aeryn to Zhaan that closely in Stark's mind has an even chance of making him go Stalker Boy eventually).

And let's discuss the wonderful overacting of our guest lady! I haven't seen that much heaving bosom and clutching, desperate hands since the last time I threw popcorn at the summer melodrama back home. Lord have mercy. It's a tribute to the actors and the director that her levels of overacting mesh perfectly with Stark -- both of them are so in synch that you can almost believe that both of them really are taking all this that seriously. Which doesn't stop you from giggling or reaching for the mute button, depending on your tolerances, but what the hell. And Mu-Quillus, for his part, desperately needed a Snidley Whiplash mustace he could twirl as he taunted Stark and Sierjna. What does it say when the Big Bad in the devil makeup gives the most subtle performance in the bunch?

By the way, a pilot for Talyn isn't worst idea I've ever heard; in fact, it may be the best. While Crais is fulfilling most of the emotional and intellectual roles of a pilot god knows he doesn't have Talyn's best interests at heart. A real pilot, devoted to Talyn and Talyn alone, and taught to deal with the peculiarities of leviathan psychology, would probably be the best thing that could happen to our baby gunship. And wouldn't you just love to know what Stark saw in Talyn's mind about Crais while he was there....?

All in all, a lovely break from the angst-fest that is Farscape these days. A hilarious episode on a level completely different from any of their previous comedic outings -- sadly, it doesn't hold up as well on the second viewing as 'Out of Their Minds' and 'Through the Looking Glass' still do, but it's a fun ride, nonetheless.